Well, maybe some of them ARE meant to be insults. You decide:
1. “Are you feeling very well today?” (Meaning to you: “You sure are grouchy!”)
2. “Wow! You lost weight! You look great!” (What you hear: “You were so fat before! It’s great you did something about that!”)
3. “That makeup makes your skin look remarkable”! (You think they said to you: “It’s about time you covered up those black circles and eye bags! You look like Barney Fife!”)
4. “You don’t need to be concerned about that…” (Meaning: “Get out of my business.”)
5. “Would you like a mint?” (You think they said to you:: “Your breath smells like the dead rat in the back of the garage.”)
6. “Did you just wash your hair?” (Meaning: “Your hair is a grease bomb!”)
7. When you call someone and the person on the other line immediately says, “What’s up?” (What you hear: “OK, give it to me straight and hurry up and get it over with because I’m busy and can’t be bothered…”)
8. “Oh, I’m sorry, I can’t met up today…it will probably have to be in a couple of weeks. I’ll call you!” (What you hear: “I am so IMPORTANT. Us IMPORTANT people do not have a lot of extra time to visit.”)
9. “Oh! You got your hair cut!” (Meaning: “What did you do to your hair?!”)
10. “So, are you tired?” (Implied: “…or are you just ugly?”)**Credit for this one given to my friend, Lampost Lisa, who dreamt that someone said this to her. It affected her throughout the rest of Junior High. T-shirts on sale soon. Stay tuned!
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